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http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Lucid_Dreaming
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"In the beginning you may be able to exert some control in your dreams, such as changing the scene or situation, or controlling your own actions, but it will likely take you awhile to gain complete control of your dreams. This is due to the fact that it can be difficult to determine how much force to put into trying to change something. Sometimes the changes will occur easily; other times you may get frustrated if what you want to happen doesn’t. It is essential that you don’t allow yourself to become too aggressive or frustrated with your attempts at dream control because if you do you’ll likely wake yourself up.
In order to be successful at changing your dreams you have to believe it is possible. If you’re trying to do something in your dream that you don’t really believe is possible, then chances are you will be unsuccessful. You must convince yourself that you are in control and anything you want is possible. Since too much force will simply cause you to awaken, begin by calmly trying to change aspects of your dream—just think about what you want to change, and try to picture it happening. For instance, you could imagine a bolt of electricity flying out of your hand, or even something much simpler like a giant sundae materializing before you. Keep in mind that you should build up to trying more adventurous things, such as the ever-popular flying. If your attempts don’t work, try changing something else. If still your efforts at dream control are futile, try instead to simply go along with the dream and practice controlling your own actions instead."
http://www.dreamviews.com/dreamcontrol.php
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